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Opinion: What NOT to do when you run an "islamic" ponzi/fraud scheme?


By: Sajid Kayum

Dear HALAAL PONZI SCAMSTER,

You are indeed slick and calculating, no doubt about it. You plan a scam that runs for years with few people figuring out your game.

You are also seen as very respectable and trustworthy, to the extent that people give you of their own free-will that which is dearest to them; their HARD EARNED MONEY.

And above all, you have a very rare trait - ruthlessness. Any ordinary person if he kicked a cat would be scared that the ground beneath him would swallow him, but it takes a very special individual to snatch the morsel from an orphans mouth and feel he is doing the child a non-repayable favor.

And yet despite all these qualities, people are being able to figure out your game, not because they untangled your web of financial deception, but by your buffoonery.

To begin with, you did well to choose CERTAIN moulwis as promoters. They are most suitable and experience in the job of getting money out of peoples' pockets in the name of Islam. They also have no issues with how the collective wealth of the Muslims is misused. As far as they are concerned you are just one of the many madrasas or failed welfare schemes they have been part of throughout their lives. And in addition, their minds have not been corrupted by concepts like accountability or responsibility. They too feel no remorse. The most perfect brand ambassadors as can be.

But you should NOT employ a Moulwi who claims to be an MBA and then tells investors that they should not be bothered about seeing the company balance sheets when these investors are partners in both profit and LOSS. People will ignore it if some moulwi from the village says it, but not from an MBA.

It is also a good, rather essential strategy to project your business as a means of attaining higher goals in the Hereafter, and to portray doubters as enemies of the Muslims but it's taking it a bit too far to claim that Allah is the one running your company, and He will sustain it till the Last Day!!!

This is simply because you may need to resort to the man-made Justice / Court system someday to silence critics, and it would be asked that the god who can sustain a company until the Last Day, depends on man-made Court systems to deal with his critics!!!

Who fears a god like that? And then who needs your "HALAAL" business?

Speaking of god. When you are in possession of a significant portion of the peoples' wealth, you automatically became an object of their veneration and hopes. You also get a lot of praise and admiration. Your paid Moulwis and promoters portray you as a sublime all-merciful entity whose heart weeps for every deprived soul. It's hard to resist that god-like feeling and attempt to practically enact the fantasy by being overly generous and charitable.

Beware! It is very important NOT to believe your own LIES.

It makes your investors extremely uneasy to see you this charitable. They already have an All-Merciful God to believe in. What they require you to be is best described as "Chicken-Tikka ATM".

ATM because you are the source of their regular cash. Chicken-Tikka because they believe you will be on the fire on their behalf if you falsely certified the haraam as HALAAL.

While on the subject of HALAAL, it is never a good idea to engage openly with what people see as epitome of HARAAM and debauchery like Bollywood and its stars. People won't buy it if you claim you were giving dawah.

After all, if "HALAAL" is anyone's business, it is YOUR BUSINESS. If you indulge in HARAAM, then so can they, and then they don't need YOUR HALAAL BUSINESS.

Remember, BUSINESS BEFORE PLEASURE

Remember, Photoshop is like a laxative. A little is good. Too much is trouble that leaves a mess all over that place which cannot be cleaned.

Remember, it does not help to claim that national newspapers publish full-page articles on the achievements when you have PAID for it and it clearly mentions ADVERTORIAL.

Dear HALAAL PONZI SCAMSTER, if what has been written above was not much of benefit to you, know that it wasn't written for your benefit.


Disclaimer: The opinions shared may not be necessary be the opinion of the website.

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